“When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. “Where have you laid him? he asked.
“Come and see, Lord” they replied.
“Jesus wept.”
Then the Jews said, “See how he loved him!”
— John 11:33-36
As a child, I remember by grandmother telling me that it was ok to cry. Peering up into her kind and loving eyes with tear-stained cheeks, she told me that much like God uses a warm gentle rain to grow a beautiful flower, He can use the tears we shed to heal our heart and help it grow even bigger and stronger than it was before. As a child I didn’t know why, but it made feel better and brought me comfort.
As an adult, although I now know that literal heart size growth is not what she meant, my life journey has taught me that her words were true and that we really can experience heart growth through our tears. In my case, I was made by God to be emotionally sensitive and am known by those close to me to shed tears of joy, happiness or pain and sadness as the situation dictates. No matter how tough you are, I’ve seen and learned that sometimes life can squeeze the tears out of any us. The good news is that in the process of going through things that hurt, our capacity for empathy is made greater by the heartache we’ve experienced… and sometimes that includes a good cry.
One of the most compelling aspects of Jesus ministry here on earth roughly two thousand years ago, is that God has chosen to come to us and offer His peace and love in human form. Amazingly, the choice to be with us as both Lord and man includes Jesus showing the ultimate human emotional vulnerability and weeping with compassion when confronted with the loss, sadness and heartbreak of those He loved. “Jesus wept.” (John 5:35), is known as the shortest verse in the entire Bible. Why?… perhaps because our expression of grief and love through tears is such a relatable and powerful emotion. One that we have all experienced and understand.
Jesus also shed tears for the nation when approaching Jerusalem for Passover prior to His crucifixion as he “Saw the city and wept over it.” (Luke 19:41.) It’s what makes the Christian journey so unique. A relationship with Jesus offers us the hope that we worship a God that understands us and what we’re going through in times of loss at the deepest and most intimate level. In Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount, He promises us that “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.” (Matthew 5:4.) What a blessing is when turning to Jesus in moments of deep emotional despair, to be able to count on the promise of comfort from a God that understand our tears so intimately.
Imagine a waterfall in the rainforest freefalling powerfully over the edge of a cliff surrounded by trees laden with hanging moss and vines that seem to be jutting up to the sky above you. The mist is drifting upwards in clouds of shimmering droplets of light from where it has crashed onto the rocks below. Birds are chirping and an unidentifiable animal screeches a call for its mate into the jungle air. Everywhere you look, there are flowers. Big, beautiful petals the colors of the rainbow… pink, red, yellow and white standing out in their vibrant beauty against the lush green growth that surrounds the falling water.
You can hear the thunder of the cascading water, feel the moisture against your skin, and see the breathtaking scene God created before you. Feel the power of the water hitting the rocks below and gently shaking the earth upon which you stand. Consider the glory of this living image. Focus on the greatness of God. Your stress and anxiety melt away as you
Dear Lord, I come to you today with a heavy heart as I struggle through a sadness and despair that has led me to tears. Jesus- I am so grateful that you know my heart and the heaviness it carries. What a comfort it is to know that you understand what it’s like to feel heartache for those we have loved and lost. You have promised that when we come to you in our mourning that you will bless and comfort us. We pray you walk with us, dry our tears and help our hearts grow stronger like Spring flowers following a warm rain. We thank you and trust you. In Jesus name. Amen.
Following the death of my wife in 2016, I wanted—no, I needed—to understand my grief. Over the five years since, I have invested thousands of hours speaking with hundreds of people and formally interviewing dozens in various stages of their loss and healing journey. And for two of those years, I’ve had the privilege of
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